2025 has been a tough year for me and I have been guided to share my journey, and the different tools which I used along the way, even though it feels very uncomfortable to do so (more about this guidance later).
I hope that by going completely against my usual MO, that what I share helps at least one person and maybe that person is you.
Doors Closing…
In the midst of my mayhem earlier this year I met up with Louise, my friend and astrologer, who through looking at my natal chart and my astrology transits helped me understand what was going on, so let’s start there.
Ok, so let’s define the two key things that have been at play in my chart:
Firstly, the 7th house. In very simple terms the 7th house is the place that is linked to the long-term relationships in our lives.
Secondly, there is Pluto, which in Louise’s words “always shows us the bottom line. While all the other planets are whizzing around Pluto gets to the heart of the matter…Pluto brings about the regeneration of ourselves through whatever area of the chart it is occupying. It is our opportunity to change things that need changing and thereby transform our lives.”
Pluto, that cold, icy planet, that moves slowly through out charts, has been slowly but surely inching its way towards my 7th house. As it neared my 7th house several important long-term relationships suddenly ended, all within a few days of each other. The most notable one of these was my 35-year relationship and marriage. I was already coming to the conclusion that it needed to end, but the way it ended was unexpected and deeply painful.
This, however, is not my story to tell.
The Abyss…
My story starts as the door of my marriage slammed shut at the beginning of March and I was left standing on the edge of an abyss with no idea how to get to the other side and indeed no idea what might be on the other side. I felt utterly lost.
Pragmatically I decided that what I needed was a Map to help me identify where I might want to go, to give me some guidance about what I might want to find on the other side of the abyss so decided to make a Vision Board. As I was incapable of coherent thought I opened up the instructions to my one year Vision Board Course and followed them.
With my Map/ Vision Board made and propped up in the kitchen, I looked for things I could do to move me towards the ‘New life’ on my Vision Board and booked some events for June and August.
Then, the reality of my life and my situation hit me, the earth began to shift beneath my feet, and I was pitched headfirst into the abyss.
Falling…
I have never really appreciated or understood the phrase “losing my mind” before but as I fell into the abyss, consumed by feelings of anger, grief and despair, I felt I was losing my grip on reality. It is only through reading my journal that I am able to recall what happened during those weeks.
The deeper I fell into the abyss the closer I edged to depression.
Unable to function I was finding it difficult to connect with others, yet despite this it was precisely my connection to my friends and children that kept me going. Knowing I was not alone was invaluable.
Connection, daily Journaling and swimming in the sea became my parachute, slowing my descent.
That’s how the light gets in…
Despite my attempts to slow the descent I continued to fall and I didn’t know how much longer I could stay safe.
I know that what I write from this point forward might seem to be me loosing my mind, but bear with me…
Then, one day at the end of May, whilst journaling, I realised that the words I was writing on the page were not mine, the words were kind and gentle, a far cry from the self-talk in my head. So, I wrote the question “who are you?” and that was the beginning of my connection with the Divine Guardians of the Pink Ray. These Light Beings were kind but firm. They guided me to seek different forms of help and for probably the first time in my life I actually followed instructions!
One of their (many) instructions was to contact the amazing Jennifer Hawkyard and commission some intuitive art.
After meeting and chatting with Jennifer she channelled a beautiful image representing my connection with the Light Beings. On 1st July, a couple of days before my birthday, Jennifer shared this image with me as well as a channelled message, which, although was for me, I believe it may also be for you too.
“The sacred symbols – the symbols of sacred geometry are powerful vessels for intention because they are woven through the fabric of the universe, they are found written in the inter-weavings of all things, of all nature of all motes in the micro and the macro it is the great unfurling and majesty of The All That Is written and encoded in all things and all beings.
This way of working is for those of you who have connected with beings of the higher rays such as our ray and other rays you may wish to explore as they also have their own encoded frequencies and sacred signs and symbols but ours is the Merkabah – the powerful symbol of above and below, of heaven and earth, of connecting to the divine and bringing down the energy of the divine into the earthly realms which of course is the job of all humans here on earth whether they know it or not.
– and so it is. Amen.
The Divine Guardians of the Pink Ray.“
Trusting the guidance…
Throughout June and July I continued connecting with Light Beings, following instructions and trusting that somehow I would find my way out of the abyss.
One of the events I had booked earlier in the year was to volunteer at the Soul Revolution Festival at the beginning of August. In the depths of the abyss a couple of months earlier I could not have done this, I couldn’t have driven there never mind interact other volunteers or the public.
But the Light Beings reassured me that I would be ready by the time the festival came around, and I was – Hooray!!
While I was there I attended several workshops and got the Merkaba symbol from the intuitive artwork ceremonially tattooed onto my wrist to deepen my connection to the Light Beings which was done by the wonderful Skye
By the middle of August thankfully the side of the abyss was no longer a rock face but rather a steep slope, still effortful but no longer treacherous. I had some more terrain to travers but at least the new doorway was in sight.
Going forwards…
It is now the beginning of December and I am on the other side of the abyss – hooray!!
I trust and believe that this journey has been for my highest good. I have made peace with the fact that my life looks entirely different to the way I believed it would at the beginning of the year and I have learnt to deeply trust the process and let go of my past.
I continue to journal daily using tarot and oracle cards as well as automatic writing to connect with the Light Beings.
My vision board is up in my bedroom where I look at it every morning and night. I can see that the gap between the life on my vision board and my life now is getting smaller, I am inching my way towards my new future.
I connect with my Core Values regularly (which I have tucked in at the front of my journal). As I continue to make large and small decisions about my future I ask myself “does this decision take me towards or away from my core values?”
Swimming in the sea has become a regular feature of my life, even in December.
Sharing my journey…
The Light Beings asked me to write about my journey for you to read, I genuinely have no idea why but as I have trusted everything else they have instructed so I guess I should just do what I’m told and hope that it finds the one person who it might help! If that is you, please let me know x
Resources
Vision Board Courses can be found HERE – use a Vision Board to create a map of your journey ahead.
Core Values support can be found HERE – core values can act like a compass to help you guide your way.
Journaling is a wonderful tool – not sure where to start? why not join me in January & February for a 40 day online journaling journey – you can find out more HERE.
Connect with fellow humans – if you would like support and encouragement from like minded souls I invite you to join me online twice a month on a Tuesday evening where we meet as a group and explore what is important for your heart and soul to focus on you can find out more HERE.
Artwork can be bought from the wonderful Jennifer Hawkyard HERE – she sells beautiful art as well as offering intuitive art commissions.
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